This might save your life, one day!

Hijackers and terrorists are always alert and they come prepared for surprises. They know they might come across an army man or some spoilt brat inspired by hollywood movies who would rise up to the occasion and try to attack them. So, they plan out everything well that an attack on them would be ineffective even if Chuck Norris is in the plane. Success against those hijackers doesn't depend on brutal force, but on an element of surprise brought out with the cunningness of a fox. Do the unexpected and terrorists will be down in no time. So, let me give you my precious ideas for tackling such a situation. One day, you might thank me for these life-saving ideas.

Foolproof ways to tackle flight hijackers

Idea 1. 

I don't know about others, but Indians should be able to do this easily because they do it every now and then. Take out the chewing gum from the mouth and stick it to the muzzle of the hijacker's gun and seal it completely when he passes beside you. Once dry, nothing can take that thing off. If he tries to shoot you, then the gun might 'backfire' literally, and you would become a hero in a day. But dear fellow Indians, if you accidentally stick it on your seat as usual, out of habit, then you would be left behind with your bottom sticking to the seat, when there is an emergency landing and evacuation.

Idea 2. 

When the hijacker goes past you, follow him silently and then suddenly press the rubber chicken you bought for your 2 year old kid. The chicken sound will scare the $^&t out of him. You might wonder how it would work. But put yourself in the shoes of the hijacker. He would not be expecting chicken to fly at around 30,000 feet in level with the plane (intact, no one would). So, he would assume the flight must have lost altitude and must be flying right above a farm. He would panic and that's an element of surprise, isn't it? Gunshots don't scare hijackers; but rubber chicken does. If you are lucky the hijacker might pass out due to shock. If not, make a pig's grunting sound; that will confirm his fears. Use that exact moment to pull his feet from below. Who knows, with Sethupathy IPS in the pilot's seat, you may really end up landing on a farm!

Idea 3.

Drop a 5 Rupee coin beside you in the path. The greedy hijacker would never like to miss such a fat chance. He would bend down to pocket the treasure. Stick your index finger in your ear tightly, rotate it twice, take it out and insert it into his mouth or nose. Game over. But, get ready to face Human Rights commission over such apathy and brutality.

Idea 4 (Works only in Kingfisher Flights)

Call the flight attendant; point your finger toward the hijacker and say, "he has taken control over your Kingfisher flight (last word in silence)". Most certainly, the attendant would assume the hijacker must have bought Vijay Mallya's shares and that he is responsible for all the miseries in her life. She would thrash him single handedly.

Idea 5

Play with psychology; implant false terrorising thoughts in the hijacker's mind. For instance, take out a newspaper and (pretend to) read loudly, "Since last two weeks the flights are being maintained by Southern Railway." The very thought of carrying bedbugs and bandicoot rats would drive him mad that he would flush himself out of the plane's toilet.