Google is introducing glasses that pair with a smartphones and act as a voice controlled remote transceiver. There is a rumour about Apple working on an iWatch with similar modus operandi. Clearly, they are trying to integrate technology with human body by means of wearable accessories. What 's the next logical step? Let's close the eyes and dive into the mystique depths of future to bring out what it holds, with the help of some grotesque eccentricity.
iPhone has been re-branded into ivPhone (intravenal phone - there's a lawsuit against Samsung for blatantly copying it with 'Galaxy pulse' powered by Android 20.1 sourgrapes). ivPhone seamlessly integrates with the human body. In the past, Apple had always offered to engrave custom text on ipods; following the tradition, this time around, Apple engraves you with the ivPhone literally in your body! True to its brand name, ivPhone draws blood into its bye-pass channel from your blood vessel and converts the blood sugar into electricity and uses it to power the device. (If you think it's insane to think on these lines, check this out -> http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=bacterial-battery-convert)
Users are advised to eat for the sake of their phones also (If you think people will easily burn up their fat, you are wrong. One cup of vanilla milk shake or a hamburger will be just enough to power 'Angry Birds' game for 15 minutes! How many burgers and milk shakes would they have in a day, just for playing angry birds?! Gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins, right?)
The phone integrates with your central nervous system by means of the patented lighting iv port (users of the previous model are angry with Apple for abandoning the support for legacy ports. Chinese accessories manufacturer cheap2core has brought the rip offs of lightning iv cables and accessories even before Apple could bring its own line-up to the market!). Left ear acts as the WiFi antenna and the right one transceives 10G data (Apple will give you free ear studs to tackle 'ear-gate'). Wisdom tooth doubles up as Bluetooth transceiver.
ios 18, the most advanced bionic OS in the world, integrates hardware, software and your body in the most secure way. It is easy and intuitive to operate the ivPhone. Just think of someone and his/her contact info will pop up in your thought instantly. Silent Siri transcodes your thoughts and communicates with ivPhone through your nerves. When you decide your means of communication Silent Siri asks you to think the message you want to communicate (If you are too drunk, Siri kindly reminds your brain to shut the f@%# up if it tries to post some crappy status messages in facebook or if it tries to call up your Ex).
Voice calls are technically just 'calls' as they are done without voice as brains do the talking and mouths are strictly for chewing and recharging purposes only. You hear the calls in your ears, converse inside your head and watch things in your eyes. Retina display is not just another brand gimmick. Display is screened on your retina to give you the 'life-like experience'. Capture high resolution with the "eyesight" (not the legacy 'isight' camera) . Unlimited apps, songs, videos and all other data can be stored in your brain, obviously.
Meanwhile Microsoft has announced its own state of the art operating system Windows 17 1/2 baked Less-than-Pro edition. Microsoft's CEO Mr. Steve Ballmer said, "There is nothing called the Post PC Era. We strongly believe seamless Hardware, software and body integration is the way of future. Body-integrated PC's running Windows 17 1/2 baked does that better than anything else. Of course we were the first to integrate these. 5 years ago, we proved ears can be used as ram slots." Mr. Ballmer flagged of a demo of the body- integrated hardware running Windows. Unfortunately, the person who volunteered for the demo fainted, as Mr. Ballmer had plugged Flash drives in his nostrils and shoved a DVD in his mouth and shouted "Demonstrators, demonstrators, demonstrators". Clearly, they have taken a different approach in integration. Besides, the OS had corrupted his brains and Microsoft Engineers are trying as hard as they can to find if it is possible to format human brains with NTFS file system.
However, there is a sudden surge in demand for the 'body-integrated PCs', as people see it as a means to permanently shut down their enemies or troublesome people (say, spouses!), or hack and steal their personal data (things like extra-marital affairs) for various purposes. People got curious, when the news of a Windows enthusiast being found at the streets staring with Blue (not screen) Eyes of Death. Latest reports say that Microsoft is happy with the response and is putting up "Hackability" and "Screwability" as USPs in the website.
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