Imprint of Veins

I have seen innumerable failures;
I have gone through excruciating pain;
and I have felt inexplicable anguish, yet you think I am comfortable.

I have been irrationally compared against; 

I have been dismissed as an insignificant being;
I have been neglected for my introversion;

and i have been loathed for what I am.
Yet, there is someone, somewhere, envying my smile;
craving for my luxuries; and desiring to be me. 

If you think I am too distant, you are wrong. If you believe I am so different, 

then you are mistaken. I am as afraid as you are.
I am as skeptical, about what is about to unfold, as you are.
I only know I am as brittle as the weakest substance you know of. 

Yet, I make an effort to spread hope and happiness. 

I don't need a saviour.
I don't seek refuge.
I am just engaged in a quest for truth. Yet, I won't deny 

I am the only bird in my cage; I occupy my cranial prison.

This is not a poem;
Nor is it a soliloquy. I can't masquerade behind a sad autobiography either; 

yet I won't deny that this is not my lament.

Now that you have read my veins; brood on your story of life, 

Trace back your steps and kick my blabber aside; yet, 

be the goodness in me and banish our common vices; 

and be a better person than I am, for I see 

a better me in a benevolent you!

- Me

What you can’t do with your head can be achieved with your hair

Long and dense hair is something I have never had. I came to know that when I was born, I didn’t even have a tiny speck of hair on my head. It was more like a fermented dough - fluffy, smooth and round; it hasn’t changed much in the last few decades. Maybe my head is not fluffy anymore. 

But I have a few friends - men, especially the ones in music industry, love to flaunt their long hair. It is their belief that the length of the hair is directly proportional to the creativity quotient. They believe it gives them an instantly recognisable identity, er, though they can quite easily be mistaken for more than one pick pocket/ chain snatcher in the criminal list stuck on to the pillars of railway stations and bus stands. Guys, you have a seriously wrong notion of ‘art and eccentricity go together’; your mirrors are lying to you. What you see in the mirror is a Bill Weasley charming enough to win Fleur Delacor’s hand. What we see is a Severus Snape with greasy and lousy hair, who stayed single and kept sending patronuses in remembrance of Lily Evans.

But let’s leave those negative aspects in barber shop and let’s focus on the objective of this article. I have invented 7 uses of ridiculously long hair, which even the ones who grew it didn’t know.

1. You can have an ecosystem on your head

Usually, people like you have lice in the hair. When you have so much real estate, why breed just lice and mosquitoes? You can introduce other creatures like snakes, lizards, rodents and even migratory birds. While you crave for a special status in music industry, you can officially get your head declared as a biodiversity zone; now that’s one special status, right? 

2. You have an all-in-one cleaner

Sweep the floor instantly, ditch the steel wool and use your hair instead to wash those vessels and scrub off dirt on surfaces. You can even clean toilet sink with it! But make sure you do not transfer your own dirt on to the floor and other surfaces.

3. Escape from debts

Next time the debtor comes in, why search for a hiding place? Spread your hair and hide underneath. Even if he knows you are there, he won’t risk enraging venomous snakes on your head.

4. Wander freely amidst a sandstorm

Cover your face with your hair when there is a sandstorm. Even a single grain of sand can’t get past beyond that sand filter. I assure you only of not dying due to choking and gasping for breath during this sandstorm. But you can still die of the stink.

5. Attack someone

While you can unleash all those creatures in the ecosystem, you can also us the hair to strike the opponent’s eyes with precision. Apply maanja paste on the hair and attack them in one swirling action. They will bleed to death. With that maanja clad hair, you can also do sandblasting of old metal objects that need to be restored.

6. Be a jockey

You don’t need a whip to control a horse. You can whip with your hair in a controlled head movement. But don’t do it frantically; since your hair is ridiculously long, it might very well reach the horse running beside yours or even worse, it will reach your horse’s face and obstruct its vision. Or the horse might mistake it for charred grass and bite your hair off.

7. Hang yourself to death handsomely

As I mentioned earlier your hair is a lethal weapon. Naturally, you can kill yourself too. But you can use it in more creative ways on yourself than on others. A few examples - don’t go in search of rope to hang yourself, your hair is already a great tool. Send your hair into one ear, pick it through the other and in one swift swiping action, take your brain out. 

Note: Thanks to my friend Muthumoorthy; I dedicate this article to him.

The best F1 driver…Part I

In India, Formula1 was not as popular before 2000 as it is now. The Indian media started covering the sport, when Michael Schumacher created a lot of excitement on track and made the sport more popular. After the advent of Narain Karthikeyan in F1, Indian media took keen interest and wrote more and more about the sport. 

Besides, a new breed of automobile-loving elite audience surfaced after a few years of globalisation. It coincided with the success of Schumacher; they started watching the sport and spread the word that Schumacher was the best; and Ferrari was the benchmark. Not just Indians, but also a lot of people living across the world accept it. And this opinion snowball has been rolling in the internet with polls being conducted and forums discussing Schumacher is better than anyone else. What if I decide to differ?

The problem with a lot of people is, they believe they know everything. They claim they know what lies beyond the horizon; they might not have looked beyond the terrace wall. Ask them who is Stefan Bellof; ask them who is Gilles Villeneuve; ask them if they know Emerson Fittipaldi. They won’t know. Ask them if they have watched any of those drivers on track. They would not have watched; yet if you say Schumacher could be considered the second best and they have not just seen the better one who existed before Schumacher started winning, they will defame you and label you an idiot. Let them do their worst; I’ll stand by my judgement. Ayrton Senna was the best driver ever.

(Left to Right): Ayrton Senna, Alain Prost, Nigel Mansell & Nelson Piquet Sr.

I started watching F1 long before Michael Schumacher won his first championship on a Benetton Ford. Cable TV gave us the choice to watch something other than DD; but there were only three channels those days - DD, Star TV (I don’t remember if Star Sports was there) and Star Plus. When I was a child I would write grammatically flawless English. But I couldn’t understand the English they spoke in the TV channels. So, I would watch anything that is visually appealing. Crystal maze was one such show; F1 was the other.

During those days, Ayrton Senna, Alain Prost, Nigel Mansell and Nelson Piquet Sr. were the ones who often occupied the podium. All of them were great drivers who won championships out of sheer skill; but Senna would shine uniquely like a diamond amidst crystals. Even when I could not understand the sport, it was a treat to watch the qualifying sessions, where he would appear noticeably faster and fiercer on TV. I have seen both Senna and Schumacher; only Senna’s driving got deeply etched in my memories.

If you wish to loathe me and shower verbal abuse for placing Senna above Schumacher, you should first understand why I believe so. Since the popular opinion was against my own, last month, I went to youtube and watched a lot of races again and again to check if my judgement is wrong. Those were not about just Senna’s driving, but also that of the other legends I had mentioned. But at the end, I had a even stronger feeling that I was right. My next post will point out why I believe Senna was better than Schumacher.

PS. Anyone can have an opinion. If you believe Schumacher is the best, I have no intention to convince you to change your mind. I respect your opinion, though I don’t agree with it. But abusing me or shaming me for having a different opinion is unacceptable and I have become a bit less tolerant towards idiocy these days.